தமிழ் திருமணம்

எனக்கு ரோம்ப பிடிச்ச விஷயத்துல ஒன்னு தமிழ் கலாச்சாரம் அதுல ரோம்ப எனக்கு பிடிச்சது தமிழ் நாடு ல நடக்கிற கல்யாண முறைகள் தான். அதும் மாமன் முறை மச்சினன் முறைன்னு போனுங்களுக்கு மபில்லைகள் கியூ ல நிகர அழகே அழகு தான். இனிக்கி நடக்கிற தமிழ் கல்யாணத்துல இருந்து அந்த காலத்துல நடந்த கல்யாணம் வரை ஒரு அலசல் தான் இது யார் யார் கலயணம் பணிக்ற சடகே ல இருகேன்களோ அநேன்கம அவங்களுக்கு இது ரோம்ப உசெபிஉல் நு நெனைக்கிறேன் என்ன ????

Tamil Wedding Ceremony

Tamil wedding ceremony doesn't involve much of extravagancy. Usually, a wedding hall is booked, which is beautifully decorated with flowers and lights. According to the Tamil calendar, the months of Aashad (July 15th to August 15th), Bhadrapad (September 15th to October 15th) and Shunya (December 15th to January 15th) are considered inauspicious for weddings. Read on to explore information on Tamil matrimonial customs & traditions… In this section, we will provide you information on traditional Tamil marriage rituals:

Pre Wedding Rituals

· Panda Kaal Muhurtham Custom
· Receiving the Groom
· Vratham
· Pallikai Thellichal Ceremony
· Naandi and Jaanavaasam tradition
· Nicchiyadharatham
· Reading of Lagna Pathirigai

Wedding Rituals

· Mangala Snaanam
· Kashi Yatra
· Exchange of garlands
· Oonjal
· Kanyadaanam
· Muhurtum
· Saptapadi

Post Wedding Rituals

· Sammandhi Mariyathai Ceremony
· Laaja Homam
· Paaladaanam Custom
· Grihapravesham
· Reception

Wedding Decorations

Traditional Hindu weddings are grand affair. It normally takes place over several days with elaborate ceremonies, which lasts up to one week. Indian wedding function is divided in to three sections pre wedding functions, main day functions and post wedding functions. These functions include the entire family, friends and relatives in the celebration and involve many costume changes. The bride and groom are treated royally for the days preceding the wedding and are showered with gifts and attention.

The main day ceremony is nothing less than a fairytale. On the day of the wedding the groom mounts a grandly decorated horse and rides to the wedding ceremony accompanied by his family and friends. Nowadays the grooms mostly travel by decorated car. The bride on the other hand is dressed in traditionally attire, which is normally a pink or a red sari with heavy zari work and embroidery on her wedding day and sparkling jewelry given to her by family and close friends.Earlier main wedding function use to take place on a mandap, which is normally decorated with flowers. Today modern Indian wedding decoration is a mixture of Indian ethnicity, richness and Western culture and custom. Mostly today's Indian wedding decorations are theme based, as people mainly don't have the time or resources.

The mandap is decorated with red color cloth because red is considered auspicious for the wedding occasion. Hire a henna artist a day or two before wedding to entertain out of town guests and get them in the mood of the wedding. Flowers have always been a part of Indian wedding decorations. So there is an extensive use of flowers of different kinds like roses, jasmine, and many more. Decorative tents or "shamianas" are often rented for Indian weddings celebrations. Different pattern of tents are available like bandhani print, Gujarati work and ethnic mirror work and satin cloth depending on the budget and theme of the wedding. And if your wedding is an outdoor one than shamianas are a wonderful idea.

The full wedding place is decorated with elaborate carpets to line the tent. Gold and red are the colors associated with Indian wedding decoration so most of the décor is of these two colors. The tents are lighted with Indian inspired lanterns and candles. Exotic incense stick is burn in the room to create a refreshing and pure atmosphere. In true sense the Indian wedding decoration is an amalgamation of Indian culture, tradition and custom and encompasses all the senses, which makes it an occasion to remember for lifetime.

Types of Hindu Marriages

According to Manusmriti or laws of Manu there are eight different types of Hindu marriages. They were as follows:

· Brahma marriage
· Daiva Marriage
· Arsha Marriage
· Prajapatya Marriage
· Gandharva Marriage
· Asura Marriage
· Rakshasa Marriage
· Paishacha Marriage

According to the historians these eight different types of marriages prevailed in ancient India. Among the eight types all didn't have religious sanction. The last four were not religiously defined it were condemned.

In Brahma marriage once the boy completes his Brahmacharya (studenthood), he is eligible to get married. His parents then approaches the parents or guardian of a girl belonging to a good family and ask them for the hand of their daughter for their son. The father of the girl also carefully chooses the bridegroom who is well versed in Vedas and of a noble character. This is how a Brahma marriage was arranged. There was no system of dowry. So the girl's family didn't have to give any dowry to the boy's family. There was the ritual of kanyadaan where the father uses to gift his daughter to the boy. In this system of marriage no commercial transaction is done. Among the eight types this is regarded as the highest type of marriage by the dharmasastras.

In case of Daiva marriage the girl is married to a priest (rtvik) during a sacrifice. In this type of marriage the girl's family wait for a reasonable period for a suitable man for their daughter but when nobody turns up they go looking for a groom in such places where a sacrifice is being conducted. Here the girl is groomed with ornaments and married to a priest. According to the sastras Daiva marriage is considered inferior to Brahma marriage because it is considered degrading for the womanhood to look for groom. It is only the groom's family that will seek bride for their son than only womanhood is elevated.

The third type is Arsha marriage that suggests marriages with the sages or rishis. References from dharmasastras tells us that in arsa the bride is given in exchange for two cows received from the groom. Marriages of this type used to happen because the parents of the bride couldn't afford the expense of their daughter's marriage at the right time according to the brahma rite. So the girl is married off to an old sage. The cows, which were taken in exchange of the bride shows that even the groom does not have any remarkable qualities. According to sastras noble marriages had no monetary or business transactions so this kind of marriages were not considered noble.Monetary transactions and Kanyadaan is not a part of Prajapatya marriage unlike the Brahma marriage where these two forms an important and basic part. Unlike the Brahma type here the bride's father goes in search for a groom for his daughter. The Brahma type is considered a better type of marriage than prajapatya because in Brahma type the groom's family goes out to seek a suitable bride for their son.

Next is Gandharva marriage, which is more like love marriage. Here the bride and the bridegroom get married secretly without the knowledge of their parents. This kind of marriage is similar to the love marriages of today's generation. It is not considered a right kind of marriage as it is done against the will of the parents so it is inferior kind of marriage. This marriage reminds us of the love affair of Sakuntala and Dusyanta.

In the Asura type of marriage the groom is not at all suitable for the bride. In no way he is a match for the girl but the bridegroom willingly gives as much wealth as he can afford to the bride's parents and relatives. So the system of marriage is more like buying a product. In Arsha type cows are given in exchange for the bride but there is no compulsion like the Asura type. Even the groom is also not so rich and powerful like his counterpart in Asura type. Rakshasa marriage is a type, in which the groom fights battles with the bride's family, overcomes them and carries her away and then persuades her to marry. This is not considered as the right kind of marriage as you are forcing somebody to marry.

Paishacha marriage is the eighth and last type of marriage. It is considered as the most inferior type of marriage. In this type the girl's wish is not considered whether she wants to marry or not instead she was force to marry and even the bride's family is also not given anything in cash or kind. She is seized against her wish. And the marrige is done against the wish of the girl and her family. Men would marry a woman, whom he had seduced while she was asleep, intoxicated or insane. This kind of marriage was later prohibited.

So looking at all the eight types of marriages it can be said that we have two extreme at two ends. It is true that there cannot be same and uniform rule for everybody. The Hindu sastras has divided each type according to the social structure and system. So it is the people living in the society who can decide, which one to opt and it is wrong on our part to advocate the same system for all.

Marrying Your Best Friend

Can your best friend be your perfect soul mate? Well, there are so many people who have married their best friends. Some are satisfied because they have found their soul mate in their friend, with whom they share such a comfortable level. While, others feel that there is nothing much to explore in your friend, because you already know him/her so well. And this is what makes married life little boring. Thus, they are of the opinion that it is more exciting to find your best friend in your life partner. Read further to explore as to how is the experience of marrying your best friend…

Looking at the positive side, friends share a great mutual understanding and comfort level. They don't really have to go through the stage, where there is initial awkwardness. They both know each other's likes and dislikes. Their wavelengths match and this is what makes them spend great time when they are together. But the negative side of marrying your best friend lies in the fact that the couple sometimes starts taking each other for granted. Some couples feel that the dating and falling in love part are missing. The special treatment that lovers give to each other is left out. Sometimes it appears that not much of adjustments are required, when two people who know each other so well tie their knots. But reality is the other way round. In fact, some people say that after marriage adjustment becomes more difficult because the couple is not ready to accept the changes in their partners. This gives rise to arguments and fights.Well, everything has its own pros and cons and the same holds true in case of marriage between best friends too. Life is very unpredictable and nothing can be clearly said about anything in life, especially about human feelings.

Marriage demands compromises, adjustment, sacrifice and abundant love. So, make a sincere effort to give these things to your marriage and the spark of your married life will always be alive. There is a constant need to nurture the romantic relationship, then it doesn't make a difference whether you found a partner in your friend or friend in your partner.

Marriages in Villages

Wedding is regarded as the most important social event in an Indian family. Wedding ceremony includes every kind of social and economic obligations. Lots of efforts are put in arranging a wedding ceremony. Marriage ceremonies in villages have special charm than city marriages. In villages mostly arranged marriages are done. In village marriages the rituals and customs are looked in a more detailed manner. Each and every members of the family are concerned about each and every details of the wedding function. Since village marriages are mainly arranged marriages so the bride's family looks after most of the wedding formalities.

As in this type of marriage the venue of the wedding is bride's home.The wedding celebration is held for a long period of time as the whole family gathers to celebrate the marriage. In village marriages it is not only the family members but also distinct friends and relatives gathers to celebrate. Even people from other villages also come to join the wedding ceremony. Unlike the wedding planner in city marriages here the family members only looks after all the departments of marriages. They only decide what should be the menu, the venue decoration and how the guests will be entertained. Here though the glamour and gloss may be missing but the fun and enjoyment part can be found in abundance.

As people gather and participate in song and dance program, fun and feast.Earlier in rural societies pre puberty marriages for girls was allowed. It was more like a rule. But with the passage of time the concept changed. Now it is not so rigid there is lots of flexibility and the age of marriage is rising in villages, almost to the levels that obtain in cities. Though according to law a minimum age has been fixed for marriage but such laws have very negligible effect on actual marriage practices. The custom of dowry, which is a major social evil in most of the rural parts of the country, is becoming an increasingly onerous burden for the bride's family. Instead of having so many anti dowry law the system of dowry has become a social menace. So these are some of the drawbacks of marriages in villages. If we can overcome these shortcomings than only marriages will be an affair to cherish.

Arranged cum Love Marriage

Today in India the concept of love cum arranged marriage is fast gaining popularity. The concept of love after marriage is a beautiful feeling. Our Indian society is still not so advanced they prefer love after marriage instead of love before marriage. In a married life there are different stages of love. The romantic love, which exists right after marriage is not the same twenty years after marriage. The influence of the western culture has started a new trend of dating in the metros of our country. Young girls and boys going out for date with the person they like is a hottest trend now in the cities.

But this concept of falling in love is not so familiar in the interiors of our country. Still in villages people prefer arrange marriages. Even in some orthodox families in the cities people prefer to have arrange marriages. So in case of love marriages you get the time to know each other, you spend time together, you love each other and then get married but in arrange marriages it is totally a different story all together. You start loving a person after you get married. It may sound paradoxical to someone who doesn't believe in the concept of love after marriage but this is what used to happen earlier and even happening now in most of the cases. Some people even say that arranged cum love marriage is more successful then love marriage.If we take the examples of our parents we will see that almost everybody had an arranged marriage and they fell in love after marriage.

And even after twenty five to thirty years of married life they still love each other. So it's not that you can love somebody then only you can marry. You can marry and than start liking and eventually loving that person. It is how you look into the matter. It is not necessary to know a person than only you can love. You can love without even knowing. Love doesn't come forcibly to anybody it just comes naturally. For loving somebody you need to spend time together, you need to understand each other; you need to be loyal to each other. There should be commitment, trust and empathy in your relationship then only true love grows. After marriage when two unknown person start staying together naturally a kind of bonding develops between them. And when you start spending time together, understand each other's need and being more committed to each other love is bound to happen. Physical attraction or love comes before marriage but true unconditional love only comes only after long relationship. Years after marriage people love each other and this is because they have been committed to each other. Any relationship grows when you give time and effort to it. Love after marriage starts only when you think the way your spouse think. You should be his or her mirror image. So be it love or arranged cum love marriage the core essence in both remains the same that is true unconditional love.